One Day You're In, the Next... You're Out

{image via Tribune Wed Design}

A strange thing has started to happen... my friends and coworkers and acquaintances are morphing into lines on a spreadsheet.  They are turning into categories that will ultimately determine whether they receive a Save the Date.    


We have determined we're having a relatively large wedding (about 150 people), but between family members and family friends from both sides that leaves us precious space for everyone we want to invite.  


And for my fiancee, that means everyone he has ever said hello to, shared a coffee with or passed in the hallway. So we set some boundaries and laid it all out in one of his coveted spreadsheets - complete with categories and filters and formulas that could be sorted at a moment's notice.


Here's how we're tackling the tough task of whittling down our wedding guest list:

• Start with a Spreadsheet - we created our own, but Google Docs, TheKnot.com and the WeddingChannel.com have templates that work great as well.
• Include Everyone - To begin with, write down everyone and anyone you are even thinking of inviting.  Place them in categories (high school friends, college classmates, coworkers, etc) so you don't leave someone off accidentally.

• Set a Statute of Limitations - Have you spoken to them in the last ten years? Will they be completely insulted if they see your wedding pictures on Facebook... and realize they weren't invited? Do you care?  If the answer to these questions are no... cross them off the list!

• Determine Plus One or Minus One - Does everyone get to bring a date? Once you figure this out, it will help  determine how many couples (or non-couples) you really do have and the actual number of people on your list.

• Create an A and B List - I had a former coworker that wanted to invite us, but had to wait until people on her A list had sent back their "not able to attend" responses. Three weeks before the wedding, a few of us from work received an invite.  Was I insulted? Not at all.  She explained the situation way beforehand and we all totally understood.  And we all had a totally awesome time. Odds are, lots of people on your B List will get an invite - just a bit later than usual.

We recognize that these "rules" are not foolproof, and that some long lost friends will be heartbroken when they realize they didn't make the cut.  But in the end, since money is an issue, this is about being surrounded by the people we hold nearest and dearest and as Tim Gunn would tell us...

Make it Work!

Which is exactly what we're doing.